Spoiler Alert: This post has spoilers for “Yellowstone” Season 5, Episode 5, “Watch ‘Em Ride Away,” which premiered on Paramount Network on Sunday, Dec. 4.
Last week’s episode of “Yellowstone” ended with sexual tension as Beth (Kelly Reilly) became more suspicious of the women who were sleeping with both her father (Kevin Costner) and her brother Jamie (James Franco) (Wes Bentley). This week, we have a branding, so get your saddles ready! But first, a horrible family dinner. Now, a quick review:
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- I think I’d be too tired to be a cowboy because they get on their horses early in the morning.
- Has Beth been sitting, drinking, and smoking all morning, trying to come up with the perfect insult to send to her father about Summer (Piper Perabo)?
- John should have his assistant Clara (played by Lilli Kay) pull a “Parks and Recreation” and schedule all of his meetings for a day that doesn’t exist in the future.
- This isn’t a limit for Beth, but please don’t make jokes about your father getting an [REDACTED] in front of your mother. I don’t want to type her words, let alone say them to a parent!
- Maybe, Beth, not all environmentalists are bad and cynical? I know that on “Yellowstone,” they are seen as just as bad as city slickers, Canadians, and liberals, but maybe they just like animals?
- This season, Summer is going to be the bad guy. In “Yellowstone,” you can’t make fun of how God changed the land and get away with it.
- Rip (Cole Hauser), by telling Beth to “put the crazy away,” is playing with fire, but I get it. Look, Beth is obviously an icon, so we have to stan her, etc. But from a practical standpoint, she wouldn’t be able to finish a conversation without saying she was going to run away to Las Vegas and see “Thunder From Down Under.”
- Rip’s tongue-in-cheek begging Beth to go on the trip is making me fall in love with him. I love love!
- “Well, I guess that’s why I’m governor and you’re in jail.” Wow, John, you really got your sex friend to like you.
- Why doesn’t Clara wear shoes to the ranch that are more comfortable? She is very professional, but the area has a lot of different surfaces! If you roll your ankle, you can’t go to as many meetings.
- “He is my only child.” Ouch! Jamie is a sneak, but Tai, that’s way too harsh.
- John, it’s crazy to think that Beth can get through a meal without saying something hurtful.
- This spread for dinner looks great! Summer can’t eat any of it, of course.
- We get it, Summer; they killed the animals so they could eat them. Not everything is a chance to preach.
- Shout out to Monica (Kelsey Asbille), who was drunk and helped break the tension at this tough family dinner. Unexpected!
- Holy crap, that fight was brutal! Watching Summer throw a few punches was fun, but she had no chance. On “Yellowstone,” did a vegan win a fistfight? As if.
- After they makeup, Beth gets a good laugh when she hears herself calling Summer names. Progress!
- This season doesn’t have nearly enough Teeter (Jennifer Landon).
- Does Clara get paid extra for riding on The Gather with everyone? It looks like a great adventure, but I hope it’s all billable hours!
- How hard it was for Beth to get on the horse: A painful reminder of the night before, when Summer kicked her square in the crotch.
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